Did This Year Make You Feel Untethered?

Do you find yourself lost? Do you have feelings of being out there with no direction?

Without a doubt, this has been the most unpredictable year ever. I’ve noticed a massive shift in attitude and a desire to level up and improve my life. I’m ready to make things better.  

If you currently feel like a hot mess, you are not alone, I can assure you. Right now, we’re all feeling like a hot mess.

Changes in relationships and how things are getting done. Shifts in thinking and goals. 2020 threw us into circumstances and situations we never encountered before. On top of all the uncertainty, we also faced a huge learning curve for doing things in new ways.

Everyone seems on edge. Work and school are frazzled.

At best, you feel insecure and unstable.

Your friends seem distant. You’re distracted. Plus, you’re likely using coping skills to deal with the hot mess that you shouldn’t be.

Do you feel sluggish or have you gained weight? Maybe you lost your motivation.

If it feels like the universe has conspired to make 2020 the worst, it’s time to take control of your life.

This year has gotten lost for all of us. Everything has been emotionally draining.

Take this Challenge: Begin to Control Your Hot Mess

Close your eyes and imagine a time somewhere in the future. A time when COVID-19 isn’t so prominent, so you’re free to go outside and visit friends and family. Wearing a mask isn’t a political debate; in fact, politics have calmed down.

Fall into that space. Fill all your senses with what you see, where you are, what you’re doing. Look around and really notice your surroundings.

Think about what you hear. . .children laughing, live music, restaurant clatter?

Think about what you can smell. . . freshly cut grass, coffee brewing, bread baking in the oven, the beach or the perfume or cologne of someone special?

What are your emotions in that moment? What are you feeling?

What are your problems? What are you suffering from in THAT moment?

Just notice it. And then let it go.

And then return to that emotion. Return to your future place again and fill your senses. Return to that place time and time again. Notice your problems. . .and your suffering. What in THAT moment are your problems and your suffering? And then let it go. Just let them go. . .

You can release your problems. At that moment, you’re OK.

Your suffering often comes from your thinking—what you THINK about your problems and the worries you have about your life. Whether you have financial burdens, insecurity at work or your relationship is unbalanced, what you think about those situations in your life impacts the way you feel.

Your thoughts about problems are usually much worse than the actual problems.

It takes a lot of practice to be able to let your feelings go about situations and fears. And it takes a lot of time. There’s so much to learn.

This is a really hard challenge to do effectively. I invite you to practice this regularly because when you do, you’ll see great results.

21-Day Hot Mess Challenge

As a licensed clinical social worker for more than 20 years, the type of challenge I just shared is just one of many I teach to people just like you. You can change your life in only 21 days with my 21-Day Hot Mess Challenge.

I teach skills in mindfulness, slowing down, and paying attention to your emotions and situations. Another skill my clients learn in the 21-Day Hot Mess Challenge is emotional regulation—tolerating hard times without getting out of control or making problems worse by quitting a job, punching a wall, or leaving a relationship.

I teach distress tolerance—how to handle tough times and the emotional distress that comes with them. Would you like to learn how to ask for what you want effectively or say “no” so that your relationship stays intact? These are interpersonal effectiveness skills I share in my 21-Day Challenge.

If you’re like me and done with 2020 and ready to level up in 2021, I invite you to check out my 21-Day Hot Mess Challenge or the other resources on my website.