Emotional Regulation Must Be Taught
Being angry is a natural human emotion. It’s actually an important part of our survival instinct.
Although natural, if you keep finding yourself exploding and then having regret for the things you do and say while angry, it can be a problem.
Before you run off your friends and family because you sent a nasty text or vented on social media about all the things that irritate you, take a deep cleansing breath and read this blog.
I don’t think you have an anger management issue. You just haven’t learned how to regulate your emotions…yet.
What is emotional regulation?
How do you know when to trust your emotional triggers and act on them? When you have learned this you have basically achieved the essence of emotional regulation. Fundamentally, emotional regulation is when you can influence what emotions you feel, how you express those emotions and then the responses you have to those emotions.
Another way to see emotional regulation is as a filter. It makes sense that on any given day you face hundreds of words and actions that can evoke emotion—your phone keeps disconnecting, you get a past-due notice on an account that you cancelled, someone cuts you off in traffic, you get a text from your significant other that you felt was dismissive. Out of all the things you encounter each day, emotional regulation helps you determine the ones that are important to react to and the appropriate reaction you exhibit after those triggers.
Take This Challenge
Are you ready to control your emotions rather than let them control you?
Here’s a challenge:
When you are upset, hurt or angry write down the things that have happened that made you feel similar. These are your vulnerability factors.
This helps you determine what assumptions you made about the situation. And alerts you to ways you might be adding to your own pain.
Are you vulnerable because you haven’t eaten or slept well? Maybe you used alcohol or drugs to change your emotions?
Write down the FACTS of the situation. Yep, only the verifiable, fact-checked truth. Then, notice if your emotions shift. This exercise can help you take control of a situation versus being under the control of your emotions.
Want to learn more? If you liked this challenge and want to learn more about how to regulate your emotions, check out my 21-Day Hot Mess Challenge. For less than what it would cost you in co-pays for three visits to see a therapist, you can be a part of my Hot Mess Challenge community. Not only do you get the support of a weekly group call you will get actionable takeaways to help change your life.
I’m Betty Eastman, a licensed clinical social worker with my own private practice. I’ve worked with women like you for more than 20 years. I’ve helped people just like you learn new ways to regulate their emotions and regulate emotions to turn their hot mess lives around.
You might think, as so many other do, you can just flick a switch and be able to change. Without any help and everything else you have going on your life, that’s impossible! That’s why I created the 21-Day Hot Mess Challenge online course to help you and those like you learn skills such as paying attention to your emotions and managing distress. I invite you to check it out because you are so very worth it!